What You Missed: This Week in Pop

I’m going to guesstimate that at least half of the Sarah Lawrence community would like to make some magic in the bedroom with Daniel Radcliffe.

Radcliffe will be playing an unkempt man in the 1940s in his next film (so many of you portray yourselves the same way) and will therefore not being tidying up his hair down there very much—and he likes for the people (ladies?) that he sleeps with to have a bit of hair as well.

Next time you get the razor, Nair, scissors, pickle jar, samurai sword, or whatever you cray SLC-ers use to keep your nether regions tidy, just ask yourself how committed you are to boning Harry Potter.

Miley Cyrus cracked her tailbone only a week after devouring a giantpenis cake. Are these two incidents related?

Middle school substitute teacher and part-time movie star, Kirsten Bell, is so in love with sloths that she had a panic attack upon hearing that one would be attending her birthday. Ellen Degeneres laughed along, but I’m not sure how to feel.

Debbie downer Adele announced on Twitter that she will be performing at the 2012 Grammy Awards. If you would like to see the performance before it airs, it’s already been showcased on The Brit Awards and the MTV VMA’s.

Hoboken, New Jersey, killed the possibility of Snooki and Jwoww’s Jersey Shore spin-off being filmed in the city, giving me reason to believe that Bronxville should open up its arms and welcome the duo to one of our town’s vacant mansions.

Sarah Lawrence has already rented out its campus (a lot), so this won’t be anything new or more wildly inappropriate than what’s already been shot here over the past two years. What television set would you rather run into on campus: two spray-tanned drunk girls or people running around with guns?

 Lana Del Rey, my former neighbor who tried to open up a low-fat cupcake truck decorated with Americana in Bushwick but just ended up getting lip injections instead, released her first album as a pouter and Sarah Lawrence’s own Jackson Sabbagh has a review of Born To Die that is much more enjoyable than the actual album.

Contrary to what I wrote in last week’s roundup, there are no current plans for another single off of Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, giving more fire to the rumor that Gaga will release another album later this year.

And finally, Madonna’s new single ‘Give Me All your Luvin’ music video premiered on Friday and it features approximately 5 words each from her collaborators, Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. On her promotional tour heading up to her huge performance at the Superbowl half-time show, Madonna stole Kathy Griffin’s New Year’s Eve dress and said that she’s worth the $300 her tour ticket usually costs. Ticket prices should be cheaper this year, though, since she will be wearing Chelsea Handler’s 2011 wardrobe.

Alex Hughes is a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence. He was born in the Bible Belt and works as an editorial assistant at The Faster Times. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes.

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