What You Missed: This Week in Pop

I know that all of you guys are probably more concerned with what’s going on with #OWS, but chill out for a few minutes and go with me on a short journey of finding out what the 1% has been up to this week.

First up is everybody’s favorite sickeningly rich family, the Kardashians. Kendall Jenner (Kim Kardashian’s half-sister) was given a brand new Range Rover for her 16th birthday party and that is just disgusting, right? Well, okay, but look at the student parking lot and count how many Mercedes and BMW’s there are. GROSSGROSSGROSS!

Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama’s paternity suit has been dropped and it is no accident that the lawsuit ended the same day that Selena Gomez tried to kill her dog and around the time Bieber announced plans to auction off his pet snake. Mariah Yeater may be stupid, but not stupid enough to let these two tween stars have partial custody of her sacred baby-to-be.

The trailer for the highly anticipated Hunger Games was released and everybody is flipping a shit. “It’s like Harry Potter! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!” everybody’s screaming and I’m just like “Okay.” It looks mildly interesting but I just wish the main character were played by Miley Cyrus. Then I would pay for a ticket.

In other news that has caused people to act hysterically, NBC revealed their mid-season schedule and everybody is dying because Community has been taking off for the higher rated and overall better show, 30 Rock. Community fans: Community pulled in only 3.6 million viewers last night and that was an improvement from the previous week; just be glad that your favorite show was even allowed on the air for half of the season.

Lady Gaga and her creative director, Laurieann Gibson, are no longer working together, and it may have something to do with Gaga’s affinity for pissing in trash cans.

Demi Moore announced that she is divorcing alleged cheater and child-rapist sympathizer Ashton Kutcher, leading to the awkward question of what she will do with her @mrskutcher Twitter handle.

And lastly, an anonymous Reddit poster who claims to be a child star knowledgeable of Disney tween stars reports that Demi Lovato’s cocaine problem was far from a secret at Disney, Miley Cyrus loves to talk about her money, Selena Gomez and Brenda Song are really boring, and the Sprouse twins (along with Cyrus) love to smoke weed, as if we needed anyone to verify these rumors.


Image source: Google Images

Alex Hughes is a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence. He was born in the Bible Belt and works as an editorial assistant at The Faster Times. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes.

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