I never want to wear tennis shoes with my slacks. Or tennis shoes in public in general. Even when I am wrinkled and hobbling, I will wear cute Keds or oxfords. Old-person shoes are not only an obvious statement of agedness, but they are also simply ugly. I will never submit defeat to thick-soled, nude colored comfort booties.
Have you seen those couples that sit at restaurants not talking to each other? If you haven’t, you don’t go out enough. They are, sadly, everywhere. I will never be one half of that image. If I have to make a list of the most interesting Economist headlines, if only to guess at their meaning, I will do it. If I have to play a game of Concentration complete with hand clapping, I’ll make it happen. I once had a boyfriend who said, “silence can mean as much as speaking. You’re just too tense.” Bullshit, man. Yes, silence can signify comfort and understanding, but speaking creates connection. If I want to be silent, I will do it at home.
I will never lose track of the state of the world. Whether it all becomes voice controlled or airborne, I will be a part of what is cutting edge. As the speed of technology accelerates, I keep meeting adults who don’t understand this “new media phenomenon” [as you read that, imagine me saying it in a quavering, crotchety voice]. I’m sure there will be bits that escape me, like whatever offensive new music is on the radio. But though I promise not to embarrass my children by attending any spaceship raves, I will be aware of their existence. And sometimes, I’ll play robot techno in my flying car.
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