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Sarah Lawrence has a lot of things going for it: a beautiful campus, close proximity to the city, amazing faculty, inspiring alumni, and unique academics.
Our beloved school also has a lot of things going against it, but for whatever reason, President Karen Lawrence and the administration seem to think that the most pressing problem is the smoking of cigarettes.
I can think of about 694 MUCH more important things that Sarah Lawrence College should focus on banning before it works on the ridiculous proposition to ban smoking on campus, but the first twenty should be enough:
1. The number of emails Fireman Bob sends us about fire inspections.
2. Walking around barefoot in public
3. Not showering for more than 24 hours
4. Eating an entire meal (or any hot, smelly food) in class
5. That one annoying girl who is in every single one of your classes who will never shut up
6. Political rants, anywhere, anytime
7. Whoever the fuck controls the heater in the library
8. Everyone who partakes in any sort of graffiti
9. The general shittiness and lack of quality food and service provided by AVI.
10. The lack of concern for students exhibited by security
11. Ecosoft toilet paper.
12. Sweatpants unless you’re a dance third on your way to a 3:30 a.m. African dance class
13. That one horribly rude Westlands employee
14. The paper-thin walls in Health Services that allow you to hear exactly which STD tests that kid from your class caught this weekend
15. Pooping in co-ed bathrooms
16. Co-ed bathrooms
17. Walking down Kimball at night
18. Asking parents for donations (we’re already paying $63,000 a year…)
19. Assigning students to live in living rooms in Hill House, rather than actual bedrooms
But in all seriousness is Sarah Lawrence actually concerned about banning tobacco, a 100% legal substance for people over 18, when marijuana, hard drugs, sexual assault, regular assault, stranglings, and student/employee sexual affairs have all been highly visible problems during my few years at Sarah Lawrence? Shouldn’t the administration and campus as a whole be focusing these much more important issues? Doesn’t the administration realize that by banning smoking, students will just smoke inside the privacy of their own dorm rooms even more than they already do now?
But, smoking is bad. Maybe the school will get a little publicity out of it and a single asthmatic student will apply for the class of 2017! That one asthmatic student will make all of this ridiculous chatter worth it. I mean it’s another $63,000, right? Maybe we can use that extra $63,000 to form a committee to ban alcohol next.
Whether you believe tobacco should be banned on campus or not,take the survey here and maybe give some suggestions of your own on what Sarah Lawrence should focus its time and energy on, like cutting astronomical tuition costs and choosing a relevant commencement speaker.