Things you have accomplished: not applying new makeup for three days, creating a bomb-ass Tumblr, writing two sentences of conference work, and soon, catching up on this week’s pop culture news after roasting alive in the library at 4 a.m.

Madonna will be playing the Super Bowl halftime show next year and millions of fathers across the nation will be confused as to why their closeted sons are suddenly excited about football.

Alec Baldwin got kicked off a flight for playing “Words With Friends”, supposedly threw a hissy fit, and then deleted his Twitter all within a couple of hours, reconfirming that one does not need to write a 40 page paper in order to act insane.

The season 5 trailer for Jersey Shore is online and it’s the usual Shore madness, except for the milk fight because that was really weird and smelly. Another bit of exciting Shore news is that Snooki’s sidekick JWoww is booby-licious on the January 2012 cover of Maxim. (Note: please clean up the study room after you are finished…studying.)

After acting a fool, folding towels, and eating a Cheeto, Kim Richards, star of Bravo’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, checked herself into rehab. Fans of the show breathe a sigh of relief while everyone else asks: “Who?” Hint: she’s Paris Hilton’s aunt.

Teen Mom’s Farrah Abraham’s book is now available for pre-order. Cue tears from every Sarah Lawrence writing student.

The New Yorker published the first review of December’s much-hyped film The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, convincing all four of us who haven’t read the book to see the movie.

Billboard released its list of the Top 10 most popular musical artists of 2011, and the list isn’t (completely) surprising. Adele comes out on top, followed by Rihanna, Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga. Somehow Bruno Mars made it to #6.

And finally, Lindsay Lohan’s Marilyn Monroe-inspired Playboy spread has leaked online and there are more boobies than at the Blue Room. Happy Friday!

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