What You Missed: This Week in Pop

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In case your lecture got cancelled this week and you weren’t able to have your Perez Hilton session, here in what you missed in celebrity news this week.

Lindsay Lohan got released from jail early Monday morning after spending only four and a half hours in the slammer. The L.A. coke dealers breathed a sigh of relief.

Brett Ratner made a homophobic comment and quit his Oscar producing job and Eddie Murphy followed him out the door, leaving his job as host. I should be offended by his comments, but I’m happy that this happened so neither of them would be a part of the Academy Awards. Oh wait, Billy Crystal is the new host? Now I’m torn.

A demo of Madonna’s new single ‘Give Me All Your Love’ leaked online and boy, she is pissed. Her manager said, “Whoever is responsible for this leak, we ask that you please stop.” He’s being really harsh. So all the leaking will probably stop.

Drake’s new album also leaked, but you probably read that 32 times on your Facebook newsfeed.

Ashton Kutcher, the go-to man to defend rape, has deemed himself too offensive/stupid to run his own Twitter account. Hopefully this won’t become the new trend in celebrity circles though, because how fun would the world be without Weiener-gates and Ellen Barkin’s foul mouth?

Victoria’s Secret fashion show performer Jay-Z began selling his own Occupy Wall Street shirts on Friday for his Rocawear label and has no plans on donating a percentage of the proceeds to the cause. The controversy surrounding Jay-Z’s decision is silly, we all know that Beyonce’s upcoming baby needs gold flaked butt wipes.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, George Clooney lost his virginity at age 16 and had his first orgasm from hanging off a rope as a young boy, which is why he has a small scale circus in his Italian Villa.

 

All images from Google Images.

Alex Hughes is a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence. He was born in the Bible Belt and works as an editorial assistant at The Faster Times. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes.

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