What You Missed: This Week in Pop

timthumb

Who was the real winner at this year’s Oscars? No, not eternally flawless Meryl Streep or the Best Picture winner that we already forgot the name of—but Angelina Jolie’s gorgeous exposed right leg that she flashed on the red carpet. The most perfect leg in all of the land now has 46,000+ followers on Twitter, more than any appendage of yours will ever have.

Justin Bieber unveiled a new (not cute) brown, slicked back hairdo this week and got a car on Ellen for his birthday. Now that the pop sensation is 18, you no longer have to feel weird about the thoughts you’ve been having lately.

The Snooki pregnant rumors aren’t slowing down, despite her denying them. And now her new Jersey Shore spinoff with co-star JWoww is being billed as a “transition into adulthood” even though MTV is seeking bars to film the new show in.

This week is all about Lindsay Lohan’s (potential?) comeback into the realm of a fruitful career outside of the tabloids. LiLo prepped for her appearance on SNL this weekend by stopping by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and then went on the Today Show to assure Matt Lauer that she’s clean and sober. LiLo also signed on for a “sexual thriller” and rumor is that she called several “famous friends” to join her on stage Saturday. If Tina Fey isn’t one of the cameos, all of young America will smash their Mean Girls DVDs in unison.

Zac Efron’s in a new movie (watch the video and try to guess what it is!) and Matt Lauer (who must be really loving his job this week) asks him about the condom that Ms. Efron dropped on the red carpet. At least we know Efron was being safe as he bottomed for Taylor Swift later that night.

Since Lindsay Lohan kind of seems to have her shit together, that means that disaster has to hit somewhere else, so Rush Limbaugh decided to be an asshole and disrespect all women, especially those who just want birth control (surprise!). In other conservative news, blogger Andrew Breitbart, who most famously released Rep. Anthony Weiner’s dick pic, died.

Nicki Minaj thinks that her new album, “Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded,” is going to be important for “hip-hop culture and popculture.” Does this sound like any newish artist who found wild initial success and got a little too carried away (and ended up generating lackluster results) with a huge album? You ruin everything, Laurieann Gibson.

Kate Gosselin, mommy and coupon blogger, wants her own talk show. Maybe OWN should pick this one up? But then again, I want a talk show too, Kate. We can’t all have what we want. You already have 18 kids.

And finally, Lamar Odom, hubby of Khloe Kardashian, was dropped from the Dallas Mavericks this week, which is God’s way of saying that the couple needs to move back to L.A. in time for the taping of the next season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Alex Hughes is a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence. He was born in the Bible Belt and works as an editorial assistant at The Faster Times. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes.

Be first to comment