This Week in Pop: One Direction, 98 Degrees, Fergie’s Preggo, and Fat/Still Hot Rob Kardashian

STOP EVERYTHING THAT YOU’RE DOING! Because One Direction released a new video and it includes a naked Niall, Zayn shirtless in bed, some air humping, and so much cuteness that it will give you a goddamn heart attack.

The Real Housewives of Orange County is back April 1st! But unfortunately the new cast member is a shrunken-headed spider monkey and is friends with Mary Magdalene/Alexis Bellino.

 

Remember when you would watch Disney Channel when you were 7-years-old and see 98 Degrees music videos and feel certain feelings in your heart until your mother told you to change the channel because four scantily clad hot men was inappropriate? Well, they’re back and get ready to whip out some lube because Nick Lachey is still as hot as he was over a decade ago.

 

Somebody complained that Alec Baldwin threatened to strangle them, but I don’t see what the problem is since I would love to be strangled by Alec Baldwin.

 

Fergie’s pregnant!! Okay, can we go back to talking about baby Kimye now?

 

Just like a Sarah Lawrence student, Lena Dunham has crippling anxiety, except unlike a Sarah Lawrence student, she now has a job post-graduation.

 

Rihanna inked a MAC Cosmetics deal because we all needed a new makeup line perfectly designed for covering up domestic abuse bruises.

 

And finally Rob Kardashian, the only Kardashian out there for our lusty gay eyes, is Chris Christie’s new protégé :(.

 

This article was originally published on The Homo Life.

Alex Hughes is a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence. He was born in the Bible Belt and works as an editorial assistant at The Faster Times. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes.

1 Comment

  • Reply February 24, 2013

    Deborah

    Are domestic abuse jokes about Rihanna really appropriate?

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