This Week in Pop: Ellen Degeneres Loves Katy Perry’s Boobs, Lady Gaga Has a Hip Problem, and Amanda Bynes The Survivor

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The Grammy Awards were this past Sunday and nothing really happened besides somebody forgot to give Taylor Swift her medication and she performed the scariest routine I’ve ever seen, America’s fave lesbian Ellen Degeneres fell in love with Katy Perry’s tits, and Chris Brown and Rihanna looked like two little lovebirds on the event anniversary of his beating the shit out of her (and now, a few days later, they’re not talking!).

Also: Taylor Swift says she doesn’t chase boys. Okay. I’m also a bagel.

 

Much to the dismay of every gay boy in America, Lady Gaga cancelled the remainder of her Born This Way Ball tour due to a severe hip injury. And while every Little Monster is crying and taking a calm-down bath in a tub full of “Fame,” nobody seems to care about the fact that Lady Gaga has such a severe hip injury that she had to cancel, not even reschedule, months of tour dates that would have made her tens of millions of dollars. Some rando who writes for Examiner.com says the tour was cancelled due to money issues, which doesn’t make sense since the U.S. dates were mostly sold out. Our prayers are with Gaga and also that she doesn’t listen to Demi Lovato, who continues to blow me away with her literally gigantic her mouth is, who wants Gaga to join her on the judging panel on The X-Factor.

 

Amanda Bynes, former star of such blockbuster hits as “Robots” and “Sydney White” and current cashier at a suburban Philadelphia Wawa, revealed to Us Magazine that her nickname is “Chick,” her grandparents are Canadian, she wants to weigh 100 pounds, and that she “survived Hurricane Sandy.”

 

The only thing tolerable about Shahs of Sunset is that reallllly hot guy Mike Shouhed and he drops trou for Playgirl and TMZ got the pics, albeit with his ass censored.

 

Blue Ivy’s finally been revealed and she isn’t as ugly as she was when she was first born!!

 

And finally, IFC has acquired LiLo’s disaster/comeback/masterpiece film “The Canyons” and plans on releasing the movie this summer. Let’s all celebrate with three pounds of coke and an electronic cigarette!

 

This article was originally published on The Homo Life.

Alex Hughes is a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence. He was born in the Bible Belt and works as an editorial assistant at The Faster Times. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes.

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