As much as we love our cocaine binges and city escapades, Sarah Lawrence is ultimately a dedicated education for misfits. 1,300 of us eat quesadillas at the pub, hunker down for conference in Raushenbush, and struggle to walk up Bates Hill in the snow. Our campus is not conducive to limousine parking or last-minute lunch at Nobu. Coming to Sarah Lawrence requires some degree of humility and an understanding that Danny Kaiser will make no exception with his scolding should you mention who your parents are.
We’re a small school. People magazine will likely never stake a spot at Slave to the Grind, but undoubtedly some smartphone photos were taken of Emma Roberts during her time here. As with most other Sarah Lawrence social scenes, we were trapped in a conflict of not caring and in fact caring a lot. “OMG, she just walked past us!” and then, “Fuck, my paper on Imaginary Media is due in two hours!”
Fandom is hard-pressed for attention when there’s a very specific reason we didn’t apply to NYU in the first place. Our education is intimate and demanding. We don’t have time to talk to our friends, let alone distant strangers. While hyper-vigilence and consequent judgment is a Sarah Lawrence student forte, we tend to forget (“forget”) our interactions fast. We might have remembered the guy in Heimbold who outlined his next project: a set of Jeff Koons-esque robotic squirrels with matching Mylar nuts, but Emma Roberts turned out to be much less memorable. Another skinny, chain-smoking fashionista? Step into the line at the blue room.
More than anything, Emma Roberts’ quick turnaround was simply a blip on our rushing radar. Small we may be, but we’re not lacking in intensity. Sarah Lawrence immerses its students in academia and those who choose to ignore it will find themselves out of place.
We will go on to dominate New York City art, music, and party scenes; for now, in Bronxville, we are students. Celebs willing to embrace that seriousness are welcome, but with Emma Roberts as a leading example, they may find the experience to be unfabulous.
Image from Google Images