Justin Bieber Had a Bad Birthday, Kanye West Is Picasso, Rebel Wilson Is Getting Paid To NOT Lose Weight, Everything Else You Missed This Week in Pop

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Justin Bieber had the worst birthday ever! Maybe he should think about ending his night with a rimjob next time!

 

Kueen Kim Kardashian’s baby daddy and anti-Taylor Swift advocate Kanye West compared himself to Picasso, Steve Jobs, and Walt Disney in Paris this week. Next week he will make that case that Kris Jenner be elected the new Pope.

 

Adrienne Maloof isn’t doing the next season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and I would make a comment but I would probably get sued.

 

Lena Dunham likes Anne Hathaway because she has pretty teeth and they have the same hairstylist.

 

HUGE CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENT DEAL NEWS THIS WEEK!! Nicki Minaj has a K-Mart collection and Carly Rae Jepsen is the new face of Burts Bees! WOW! Get it girls!

 

Head Homo Anderson Cooper thinks Most Perfect Person in the World, Jennifer Lawrence, faked her fall at the Oscars. I would trust what he said except for the fact that his show’s set is so goddamn hideous that obviously doesn’t always have the best judgment.

 

Britney Spears is now a brunette and looks amazing! Lindsay Lohan needs to take notes on how to not look like a hot mes$$.

Real Housewives of New Jersey star Jacqueline Laurita owes the gov $340,000 in tax debt. I thought you guys were good with your money? Did you go overboard in the Duane Reade makeup aisle again, Jac?

 

Rebel Wilson is being paid to stay fat and she officially has the best job ever.

 

In naked lady news, Holly Madison plans to eat her placenta and JWoww accidentally exposed her breast surgery scar! (These are two big reasons as to why gay guys exist.)

 

Three Modern Family stars (the gays and the mom) got stuck in an elevator, but that isn’t even the funny part! The got stuck in an elevator at A SHERATON HOTEL IN KANSAS CITY! Even I wouldn’t get caught in a Sheraton in Kansas City! Kathy Griffin’s plumber wouldn’t! Zoila from Flipping Out wouldn’t! Do they not know that they’re kind of D-List celebrities? Next stop: a middle school talent show in Tuscaloosa!

 

Originally published on The Homo Life

 

Image via Yahoo

Alex Hughes is a sophomore at Sarah Lawrence. He was born in the Bible Belt and works as an editorial assistant at The Faster Times. You can follow him on Twitter @TheAlexHughes.

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