Bronxville: A Bucket List

Bronxville doesn't like to admit in public that we know each other, but whether those prepsters like it or not they're ours. They're our college town. What New Haven is to Yale, Bronxville is to us…minus the drug culture. It's where we buy our groceries, where we catch our trains, where we…ok so we don't have a whole lot to do with one another, but Bronxville still holds a special place in all our hearts. Yes? Maybe? No? Ok maybe it's just me. I for one have had some great/good/passable times in Bville. Since freshman year I've always bought snacks at Gillard's before catching the train to New York. Birthday cakes and sweets for my dorm mates are always purchased from Tops. I have spent countless sunny days camped out on the benches in the park, drinking Starbucks. From long walks through the neighborhood to margaritas at Blue Moon, I have enjoyed Bronxville and I will miss it when I graduate. For those with similar experiences or perhaps for those in desperate need of a break from conference work, here's a list of things to do in Bronxville before you graduate:

  1. Stake out a table at Slave to the Grind
  2. Concede to a seat in Starbucks when you realize there are never seats at Slave
  3. Make friends with the cashiers at Gillard's
  4. Upgrade your wardrobe at Chaos
  5. (Over) Eat happy hour sushi at Wild Ginger
  6. Buy cheap movie tickets at Bow Tie Cinema's Super Tuesday
  7. Split a cab with a random SLCer
  8. Pay for an entire cab yourself because that walk is torture with three bags
  9. Experience the Cobbler on Palmer
  10. Eat your fill of free samples at Swizzles
  11. Drink with a professor at the Station House
  12. Avoid a professor at the Station House
  13. Take up more than your fair share (with bags, groceries or a general disregard for other people) of the shuttle back to campus
  14. Be the one kid perched atop the wheel well of the shuttle, because ain't no way you're waiting an hour for the next one
  15. Survive Blue Moon Happy Hour
  16. Sit outside Pete's on a warm evening
  17. Get to the Metro North platform just as the train arrives, enter the train looking glamorously winded
  18. Just miss the train and stand on platform looking PISSED
  19. Buy a 10-trip ticket because you've convinced all your non-SLC friends that you spend all your time in the city
  20. Walk quickly past the True Detectivesque collection of flags and twine just before the bridge
  21. Go bravely where few SLC students have gone before—The Palmer Lounge
  22. Walk through Bronxville's Historical District
  23. Peruse Wormath's for a good book
  24. Browse the Bronxville Farmers Market
  25. Take your parents for dinner at Il Bacio
  26. Study in the Bronxville Public Library
  27. Buy flowers for someone special at Brothers
  28. Read the snarky signs that the Bronxville Fitness Club posts on its windows
  29. Find a reason to go to J.C. Fogarty's
  30. Be able to identify the "Bronxville Bro" at at least a hundred yards

Zoe Marquedant doesn’t talk about Fight Club. She is an SLC writing student with a dinosaur watch and an over-developed sense of state pride. She can be found around campus perpetuating awkward moments and swearing like a sailor. Zoe firmly believes life is what happens in-between good cups of coffee.

2 Comments

  • Reply April 29, 2014

    Angry

    Yo, Sergio is a better artist than all the swine at SLC. How many of you fucks inspired DeLillo stories?

    Try my “#31:” Oral sex in the fountain.

    And no that ain’t a fucking hashtag.

    Get back at me when you know how B-town puts down

  • Reply June 29, 2014

    lol

    #28 is so real!!! those bville fitness club signs are fucked up!

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